Worthless

You are not wanted.

The feeling when people just shunt you aside and move on with their lives.
One moment you felt that there was actually a person who cared, that you could trust. The next moment you realized that they were just there because they simply wanted something from you.

You doubt your own self-worth and felt that everyone around you lives better without you.
What is your value? What is your contribution? You are not funny nor interesting, you have nothing to share and whatever you do are simply inferior in every way to the people around you.

You start seeing a selfish motivation behind every interaction people had with you, you start doubting yourself.

You isolate

You crumple up

You die...



Cassie put down her pen and look out the window. She has been sitting on the window silt for the whole afternoon. Her thoughts clouded her mind and she could not muster any motivation to raise from her seat, not even to read, not even to distract herself. She could not see her friends that cared for her. She only felt cold and alone, because the person she cared for most had abandoned her. 

Autumn

It's autumn again. It seems like only yesterday that you were celebrating the start of summer. 

Leggings and cardigans starts appearing along with students who are preparing for the beginning of a new school year. 

The air doesn't hung with warm humid air and the sun didn't seem to scotch your skin as much. Although the temperature is still high, you know that autumn has begun. 

Autumn for many, marks change. Toddlers become grade school kids; high-schoolers move on to college. It's all about growing up, leaving and becoming the person you're not sure if you're ready to become. 

It's the time to get lost, to wander and to face new challenges. 

Modern Time Capsule

I found the iPod touch at the bottom of my drawer and maybe I could put it into good use...

As I charge up the old gadget, the old familiar iOS look up at me. This was the piece of metal that helped me through the darkest days of my life. Whenever I was feeling sad and depressed I would listen to songs that block out my frustrations. I would spend my time playing the mini games on to make me forget my worries. I would type my feelings into the Notes where it would absorb and make my troubles disappear. I would store our pictures into the photo albums and sneak a peak when faces become burry. I would put my hopes into the small square with the blue "S" that could connect us...

These were the memories that I have forgotten, stored safe and sound in the little 4 inch rectangle.

I look at these bittersweet memories and thought of all the difficult nights that I went through, all the happiness and sadness...

That was the me years ago, and the you who still loved me then - lock and preserved in the 8GB of memory.

The Negative Project

Trust me, not a pretty sight.

It's not the first time I have done this. I have noticed my uncontrollable eating.  I have been doing it for the past year and I couldn't stop.

I keep putting food into my mouth even when I knew that I couldn't eat anymore. My hands and my mind are from a completely different body. My mind is giving feeble attempts for my hands to stop but my hands are just too aggressive.

It is like a game of trying to see how much food my stomach can hold, until it all comes up again. Each time I bow to the water closet and feeding it with food and come up with a note of thanks, it's almost like a one-person act. I have done this often enough to actually feel it, taking everything in and noticing my actions.

Some people call it an eating disorder, but I just felt like it was eating the whole meal again except backwards and in the wrong place. 

Humiliation

You do realise that there are things which you will always do even though you know it's bad for you. 

Smokers always smoke, dieters always goes for that cookie and, who cares if I get poor quality sleep? I just like to get blue glare in my face before bed. 

It's the same with your profile. I always goes back to your feed to look at things that isn't there. 

For every word you wrote I read again and again, trying to decipher meaning and signs that could somehow be related to me. I make a million guesses, assumptions and interpretations. I become a detective, a stalker, a madman, just to have a peep inside your mind. To understand your words is like walking in smoke. You know how they say you lost your sense of direction in smoke? It's true. I can no longer make sense of heads or tails in your words. Sometimes I might relate to a passage, only to find that it's adapted. Sometimes I think that you're being sentimental, only to realise that you weren't. The words you spill into your writing, they're not for me aren't they? Oh wait, yes they are. Now I see what they spell - 

h u m i l i a t i o n.

What I Learn From Applying to Wrong Jobs

Job seeking is hard. There's all the browsing of openings, cover letters to write, the CVs to perfect, it all gets pretty tough sometimes. 

I was trying to apply to some jobs and I became pretty anxious feeling that I was good at nothing and none of my experiences were good enough for anything. I was so anxious I tried to escape by watching TV drama, eating, laying around... I basically can't do anything. I launched into a sigh marathon and became genuinely depressed. Up until a point I literally gave up. 

Turns out that giving up was the thing to do. 

The more I'm anxious about something the more I'm keen to get things done. The rush to complete made me more worried and anxious and this is a viscous cycle. If I would rest and let myself breathe for an hour, I might be able to calm my brain and get more things done rather than waste my time freaking out and not getting anything done. I stressed out most of yesterday only to realize that the reason I couldn't get anything done is that those things are not really 'my thing' and I'm going over this process all wrong.

Here are the things that I have learn:

1. Apply filters when doing the job search
I was not using any filters because I wanted to look at EVERYTHING. turns out that it only messed up and distracted my thinking if not overwhelming my already anxious brain. After my break I narrowed down my search and the first two jobs I browsed was already a hit.
Lesson learned,  minimize distraction from your original goal. 

2. Think of a job search as a search for a partner.
After applying the filter I realized that for the whole time I was looking at job ads that didn't really match my personality. All the time I was thinking I would be suitable for these jobs while forgetting if I was really the person for the job. When looking for a partner, your personalities should match and never judge a person by their looks. It's the same with jobs. Look into the job description and the requirements. If it doesn't look appealing and suitable for you, they won'd find you appealing and suitable too. 

3. If I'm struggling more than I should, it's not the right way
If you're struggling to do something that shouldn't take long, chances are that's not the way to approach the problem. I took a whole day to write up and put together a cover letter and CV for a certain posting in the beginning. After switching my approach, everything just became easy. At the end the two job applications that I have sent out didn't take more than 2 hours. 

Oh, and I was glad I talked to a friend the other night because he really gives good CV and cover letter advice. I'm also glad that I have my own prepared database on specialized CVs and cover letters for different fields and JDs. 

Good luck ;)

Trouble Sleeping

I heard that you've had trouble sleeping, what were you worried about?
Was it the stars that got trapped in glass jars?
The old man who lost to the sea?
The jam that got jealous of the peanut butter?
The hide that couldn't be seek?

I have known melancholiness because it has always been with me.
The speakers that couldn't speak for themselves,
the brownies that were black instead of brown.
The sour milk that were made to be sour,
the compasses that got dizzy spinning round.

Fear not my friend, for you are not alone.
The singalong was always a one-sided tune. 

Fallen Stars

Stars falls from the black caverns of the endless sky. Crisp, cool air refreshes my body with each breath I took. Sounds of nocturnal creatures waved through the distance. The cool grass felt soft and tender through my shirt as I lay alone in the field. Her thoughts covered my thoughts like smoke engulfing a burning buildings. I can’t see through them and yet they were all that I see. The carefully posed picture and skilfully sculpted words pierce through my heart like a million needles. “Smile because it happened” she wrote. But how could I smile because of what have happened?

Rain starts to fall, gently and softly on the ground. Gentle and smoothing against my face wiping away the storm that brewed up in my eyes. Clench and unclench, each beat of my heart feels hard and ready to pull me into emptiness. Wave after wave of pure helplessness spread through my body. I just want to lay here and let flowers grow out of my body. Let twine and bushes consume my body, because what is there left for me when even my world have decided to leave?

The Negative Project

The Negative Project

I have never thought of myself as an expressive person. I always like to keep feelings to myself and show hardly any emotions. However, I have just realized that although I might be intimidated by others reading my mind as they read my writing, I actually wanted to share the weather in my world.

Flipping through my journals, I am always a person to record down events and facts. I don't express my thoughts much. That's how I came up with The Negative Project - the writing challenge that I am giving myself. I will write with empathy, writing emotions and negative thoughts. (Of course, they will be based on fictitious characters as I don't find my life really that tragic, I live a great life you know?)  Yea, it's unusual to write negatively, but as people say nothing is as moving as a great tragedy right? Titanic wouldn't be so heart-wrenching if Jack and all the other passengers didn't die would it?

Film: Boyhood

Boyhood, the movie that took a whole 12 years to film, following the stages of life of all the characters. 

This movie is a very good capture of the emotions and thoughts of a child growing up in a complicated family. Deep as this may sound, the flow and organization of this film is simple and straight forward. 

It is life portrayed up on screen.

DSE 放榜揀科排JUPAS？

DSE今日放榜，各位又係時候重新排一排JUPAS次序啦。 想當年放榜，灰到無朋友…3科AL三條D。望住身邊嘅朋友個個成績都得得體體都咪話唔難過。

如今諗返轉頭，排JUPAS我會給4年前的我這樣的忠告 ：

1。 讀你最鐘意，最有興趣嘅科。
如果你對philo有興趣，就去讀philo，對eng lit有興趣就去讀eng lit， 喜歡fashion and design，即管去讀啦。唔好被其他人話無出路，唔知讀嚟做咩，無前途之類嘅說話嚇親。佢哋唔係你，亦都唔係佢哋去讀，唔到人哋去主宰你選擇嘅路。4年大學生涯對住一啲你冇興趣嘅科目真心唔係一件開心事。Do what you like, like what you do. 再者，讀自己有興趣嘅科目成績都會好啲，GPA好之後嘅路自然好走。（exchange, scholarships, reference letter... 好多機會都係俾成績好嘅學生）如果讀完學位先入一個完全唔關事嘅行業，感覺就像浪費了大學的青春。真的。（有關的科目起碼會得到相關信息，有志同道合嘅朋友唔會寂寞亦都唔會為讀而讀。）

2。無心水科就退而求其次揀心水院校。
如果你唔知自己想讀咩或者已經知道入唔到自己心水科目，既然得唔到最鍾意就不如揀最有利自己嘅。香港人，香港老闆們其實都好現實。3大，有你著數。就算讀完出嚟唔係做返同行，人地睇到你入到名牌大學都唔會睇低你。係架啦，好現實。加上大學唔止本科知識咁簡單。識到嘅人脈關係，大學文化，學校俾到你既機會…對於你日後生活際遇唔多唔少都會有啲影響。

3。咁真係無科鍾意，點樣揀呀？
揀啲有得領取專業資格的。出嚟就算入咗唔係最鍾意的行業至少得到的薪金可以彌補一下自己空虛的心靈。再唔係揀科potential大嘅，出路多嘅，留多啲選擇比自己。

4。High dip, Asso, IVY 讀得過嗎？
聽聞是好很很很很很很很很狠harsh的。而且亦無保障一定搏到上大學。你要接受一整年望著朋友玩ocamp，reg科，上莊，住hall，去exchange…好多好多令你葡萄嘅事。當親戚朋友問起你讀咩，望著佢哋由期待嘅面口到"哦…嗯…"嘅表情，好似都幾難堪。呢啲"Risk"自己衡量吧。但也不是所有feedback都是差的，也可能是大家人生的一個轉捩點，學習機會，人生體會…

可惜我揀了非自己最喜歡亦非社會上最受認同的院校…兩頭唔到岸。
但係我的經歷令我成為今天的我。有啲嘢又唔到我而家嚟後悔嘅，世上無絕對的選擇。
okay,講完。以上全為己見，只供參考。

Girl's Best All Time Accessory

A friend of mine have just recently stirred up a storm in town by running for Miss Hong Kong. She is most certainly over-qualified in terms of intelligence and beauty. For those of us who are less up for match with her will have to make do with some touching ups and accessories.
My no-fail, all-time, best accessory?


A good book.

How often do you find a person with a book in their hands nowadays? The mass population is too up-taken by their smart phones and tablets to pick up a book. Not that they need one anyway, with the kindle and reading apps and audio books, why choose the bulky and heavy option? I do own an e-book myself and I found it most convenient. However, I still feel that physical book are always the classy option.

A book tells people you have a character.
Who need those phones? Who needs social media to create a personality for themselves? Girls who holds a book in their hands are simply telling others that they know what they want and they achieve it by themselves. They mean business. No scrolling through random pictures/ articles to pass time. No checking the amount of likes on their last selfie. No participation in internet conversations. "Ain't no time for that, while you're all building up your "social status" online, I am building my brain."

What you read reflects your mind.
A great title not only enriches the mind, it also tells others your interests and profession. I always secretly admire those with books in their hands on the train. I can almost see the halo of intelligence shining on their heads. Knowledgeable and deep are the words to describe.

Anyway, to read or not to read it all depends on the person. I love it, though I too have non-reading days. It's just a lifestyle I choose.

XX

Breakfast I can make: Layered protein jar

Breakfast - the most important meal of the day.

But somehow, I am not really found of this meal. It might be the fact that I did not know how to cook a nice one for myself, or simply my uncontrollable appetite once I start eating (so starting later in the day could limit the time I begin my endless devour of food).

Nevertheless, I do agree that one should consume a healthy breakfast daily, early in the morning. Today I am feeling extremely in the mood and creative, thus decided to give myself a nutritious breakfast (on the go!)

I used:

- Organic soy powder

- Strawberry jam

- Greek yogurt

- sun-dried blueberries

I did:

Spoon ingredients into jar in the order of soy > jam > yogurt > blueberries

Yes, it's just like that. I feel slightly idiotic even typing this out. 

The soy came from the soy milk that we made last night using the blender. They're basically just cooked powdered beans. I feel that they can be a very good oats substitute for people who wants less carbs in diet. Google tells me that the carbohydrate content in soy powder is only around half of that in oats and protein double.  

I'm loving this breakfast as it's extremely fast and convenient, only took 2 minutes of my morning. And when I screw on the lid it can be taken out and enjoyed on the go. Furthermore, all that protein gives me power and energy to tackle my day too!

Art in a cup: Coffee talk

I'm a coffee addict, seriously.

It all started in my university days, long lectures and meetings left me no choice but to start my long journey on the coffee path. But I'm a coffee addict who is poor and had little cash to spend in fancy coffee shops. That's when I decided to brew my coffee and froth my own milk.

I just used a petite wand frother from IKEA and some milk. After some playing around, spooning and scooping, I got this:

 and this:

So fun. Happy playing with frother! No skills required and a good way to spend a Saturday morning.

港女行：Elephant Grounds Coffee.

Hey, you pretentious people. Follow me to Elephant Grounds Coffee.

If you're into those photogenic coffee, ice-cream sandwiches and dainty coffee shops, this is the post for you.

I visited Elephant Grounds in Sai Ying Pun the other day, it’s located in a designer shop called WOAW so if you’re not on the lookout for it I’d say it’s quite difficult to locate. For a “parasite” coffee shop I daresay that its marketing is quite nicely done. At least it’s got me (who lives under a rock) noticing it (on Instagram).

The shop was quite interesting, there's all sorts of designer stuff there that's a pleasure to browse through. Although I didn't buy anything it's still enjoyable to look around and poke my nose into their pretty displays.

I ordered a latte and the legendary ice-cream sandwich for me and my friend, and we settled on one of the stools outside.

Let me first talk about the coffee shop corner. It is dainty. It has around 10 seats around the bar and outside and that’s it. And the stools are small too. I made the mistake of going there with a backpack. Go in a rock band tee, shorts, platforms and an envelope clutch. You'll match the atmosphere more, trust me. 

The coffee was alright. I ordered a latte, priced at $40. The milk foam heart was neatly done. Nothing special there. 

The ice-cream sandwich, at around $60, was avocado and lime between peanut-butter cookies with little crunchy chocolate balls. The ice-cream was really creamy but I didn’t like the cookie that much as I found it a bit too hard. It’s better for you to share the sandwich if you’re not a big eater as I find the portion a bit too large for a snack.

My experience there wouldn’t be very memorable if it weren’t for the impulsive photo session I had with my friend. After we took pictures of our food, the surroundings, us with the food, the food with the surroundings, and every other picturable possibilities… we started to have fun with ourselves. And this is what we ended up with…

 

Guess I'm more found of taking "after pictures", at least I am able to tell people I actually consumed those stuff and enjoyed the moment rather than letting the camera have a higher priority over my food.

We had enough of taking pictures of the food and took selfies instead.  

We ended up spending more than an hour playing trapped in a cup.

More pretentious foodies  港女行：潮流的甜品 Next Station Dessert & 雪國度

Weekend nature trips: 山系女行: 攀山涉水 之 唔怕跳崖怕蜘蛛 Cliff jumping in Sai Kung

Morning routine: Increase efficiency and be MOTIVATED

Feel that it is impossible to balancing health, work, life and getting everything under control? How about "stealing" some time from your mornings?

There's a saying, "an hour in the morning is worth two in the evening" (一日之計在於晨).  I agree with this wholeheartedly. Now that I am finally putting effort to develop a healthy lifestyle, I found that I can actually utilize my time in the morning to get more things done.

My morning routine is as follows:

6:15 am.
I wake up and get my playlist going, still loving 8tracks as I can simply key in my mood and let the app take it from there. Especially if you're into discovering new songs and artists or just bored easily, this is just perfect. Of course, there's also a like function and allows you to create your own playlist.

6:35 am.
Time to roll out my yoga mat and get some sit-ups done. Still trying to build a workout routine, haven't settle on anything so far but some reps on the things I like to do. Though I've figured out that the plank and side plank is starting to be favourites.

7:00 am.
Head outta door! It's an hour's train ride from my home to the office. What's better to learn a new language while you travel? I've always adored the way French sounded. Duolingo is the best app I've encountered so far. I'm sure I've talked about it somewhere already.

I also have a habit of writing in my diary on the train. I felt that I have so many thoughts that's wandering on my head I had to let them flow somewhere. So there goes!

8:00 am.
Arrived in the office and launch into another productive and motivated day!

It makes me happy to feel that I have used my time wisely and efficiently. While people are going on about how there's not enough time, why not find a way round it and get the problem solved?
Mine is the morning way, what's yours?

Be The Girl I Want To Be.

Hey, meet my new mantra.

Strange it may be, talking to oneself, but this is working (at least for me). Don’t pretend you don’t talk to yourself anyway, everybody does. Think about the last time your report got you a pat on the back – “Good job, girl.”

Anyway, I was just saying that I have been telling myself to be the girl I want to be. It’s a bit like having the mind over matter, being in control of myself through willpower. After all, who’s going to help me if I don’t help myself?

If I want to get in shape for the beach, I exercise, I eat less. Whenever I want to eat I tell myself that I’m going to be the girl I want to be and I push the thought of food away. That’s like a reminder to myself about my cause, my purpose instead of simply being overwhelmed by cravings (that’s most likely temporary).

 I would like to be productive, to be efficient in my work. I tell myself to just do it and be the girl I want to be.

Of course everything is not just about plain thinking. I gave myself action steps and guidelines to follow. I have a vision to the person I would like myself to become, an image of how I want people to perceive me. Then I follow the “ideal me” and take control of my life.

For instance, I am feeling stuck at work with so many tasks that I didn’t know where to start. I simply think about the girl that I want to be, think about how she would tackle the situation, admire how she does it and follow her lead. 

Simple, Easy, Breathe.

A salad that I’m really proud of.

Honestly, when is the last time you fixed yourself something and it brought you legit joy which lasts for days?

You may say I’m overly easy to please, but the happy drive I’m getting from my Sunday salad is lasting well into my Monday. It is nothing fancy, nothing expensive nor time consuming. It’s simple and easy as it looks.

It all started with a cob of corn and ripened mangoes. I was going to name it the “Yellow Salad” when I thought some baby onions would go with the mangoes. I’m all into experimenting and weird food pairings so this is no surprise that I would toss them in. I came across some apples in the pantry and thought the colours would look good. Besides, apples are crunchy (to compliment the soft and squishy mangoes) and their taste goes well together too (think the yogurt drink). With all the textures and flavours, the colour could do with some improvements… hence, a kiwi goes in.

And then I told myself I had to stop before things get out of hand.

我喜歡了一個女孩子

，她是一個小朋友。

我常常把她弄得很氣憤也令她很失望。她告訴我要在我提出分手之前與我分手，要在我離開之前離開我。

她很好勝。
是很認真的在whatsapp裏說：「唔好逼我做最後一個講嘢！感覺好差！」
然後又說：「早知一早唔覆就唔會又俾你企左高位」...
接著再說：「記住而家係我唔理你！你啲fd問起或者你同你啲fd講，記住講清楚話係我而家無搵到你冇理到你冇煩到你！」

好吧，那就是你現在拋棄我，我被甩了，而不是我主動不理你的。
就在最後最後的短訊裏我打的字數多過你，用的時間短過你，回覆的次數密過你，還用問句結尾得不到答案了，那肯定是在低位了！


還有，她好喜歡比較。

「我有什麼比不上×××？」
「你是和我一起開心還是和×××一起開心？」
「為什麼你總是約他們不約我？」

她好喜歡問問題。

「你放工有咩做？」
「去邊度？」
「同邊個？」
「做啲咩？」

有時她的問題還是有骨頭的。
「走去旺角幹什麼？是要陪*那個*人嗎？」
「在和誰sd msg? 你的兵麼？你的新texting buddy 麼？」
「唉，往事只能回味，現在你都不會自拍sd給我啦！」
「以前我們做×××多開心，依家冇嚕」

她好喜歡哭。
吵架了，生氣了，喝醉了… 小小女孩都有哭過，只可惜我是受硬不受軟…
深深體會到男孩子在女孩子哭時的不知所措。

記得她提過小時候因為表哥激嬲了小小心靈，在照片上家人的臉上畫圈圈了。而表哥的圈圈最大因為他令到小小女孩最生氣。我想現在我的臉上應該是無數的圈圈圈圈圈圈圈。

其實，我被拋棄之後感覺不知是好笑定好喊… 好笑是可能我還覺得她是在鬧脾氣吧。
說真的，她看見我這樣說一定會很憤怒（「我哭成淚人了！你還可以笑得出？！」）
好喊是，其實她都只不過是一個小孩子。畢竟我們都有過共同話題，一起走過了一些日子…

人會變，月會圓。
當一個人在你的生命裏再沒有正面影響時，身體思想很自然就會把那個人排斥。
我希望當小女孩不再理我的時候她不會再哭，不會再缺乏安全感，不會再要與人比較。
我想她會記得我們曾經是多麼productive, 對事情有要求，對大家有positive influence的朋友。

Health Lifestyle & Goals Review.

My blog stats brought me back to this post which made me think about my health goals.

Two years back I said I was doing 2.4k jogs and adding 400m, two years later I felt that I can barely make 3k... Well, not much improvements there.

However, I have not given up my exercise plans. As summer approaches I have made a resolution to develop some abs. For the last month I have been obsessively reading up on the way to train my muscles, lose the fats (so that the muscles show) and gain strength. Currently quite found of doing mini workouts in the morning so that's a score for keeping fit. So far, my muscles still refuses to show but I can feel their potential *wink wink* Perhaps a few more sets and a structured routine could get the job done.

I have also successfully talked my friends into enrolling into thai-boxing courses and dance lessons with me. Who wouldn't like to get in shape with a pal? Totally an increase in motivation to move around and making work outs more interesting. I am even looking forward to these sessions!

But what I enjoy more, is the frequent hiking trips that I am doing with my friends. I happened to realize that the perks of living in Hong Kong involves easy and convenient access to well developed and beautiful scenic hiking trials. My last trip to the Four Pools (四疊潭) is simply amazing.

Coming up, Tissot Limitless Challenge hot to go!

山系女行: 攀山涉水 之 唔怕跳崖怕蜘蛛 Cliff jumping in Sai Kung

又到夏天，大家減好肥未？ 

Summer's here! Are you ready?

weekend又係諗去邊嘅時候，喜歡親親大自然的我與友人到了西貢跳崖去！ 

It's the weekend again, time to come up with some entertainment for myself. Nature-loving me have decided to go cliff jumping with some friends in Sai Kung.

8：30 彩虹乘小巴入西貢。 地鐵站前的水果檔不是很喜歡我們，買到了又貴又爛的水果。

9：15 往西灣亭的村巴走了！幸好星期天不定時村巴時間表給我們帶來了9：30 bonus bus，要不然（路邊的阿婆說）星期天多人到的士也等不到。 

8:30 Took the bus to Sai Kung from Choi Hung. FYI, the fruit vendor right outside the MTR didn't like us very much. Sold us over-priced bad bananas *bleh*:/
9:15 We missed the bus that's going to bring us to the starting point, however god gave us another one at 9:30 which is very very fortunate *all smiles* If not we'd be stuck there forever cause Sunday traffic in Sai Kung is horrible.

 為了不要錶印，沒有時間觀念了 
Lost track of time because I didn't want a "watch mark"

從西灣亭找到沙灘，沿著過橋前直行的路就去到四疊潭了！！
From Sai Wan beach, we walked in from the bridge and arrived at the Four Pools!!

跳崖 Cliff-jumping

走到溪澗的盡頭是。。。

At the end of the lake...

千絲瀑！

The Waterfall!

爬上去！Climbing up!

然後我們只顧著享樂沒有再拍照了。

And then I didn't take anymore pictures.

Winter Wanders: Picnic Essentials

Winter in Hong Kong is not much more than early spring in some countries, which makes it perfect picnic season from November through March before the rainy spring arrives.

Recent picnic days with my friends have drawn my attention to my need of preparing a picnic pack so as not to forget some essentials and make the trip more enjoyable.

Here’s a sneak peek into my picnic bag:

(In order of importance)

Item one: Picnic blanket

Most essential and fatal if forgotten – a picnic blanket that’s big enough to accommodate all the food and people. Normally people go for beach mats (giving another purpose to the summer mats in winter) I opt for shower curtains. Yep, you didn’t mis-read anything. Shower curtains are water resistant (against wet grass), they have different and often cute designs and are the perfect size and shape. (Squares for sharing rectangles for tanning, get it?)

Item two: Wet wipes

Where to find a washroom in the middle of a nice piece of grass? Wet wipes solves your problems, from a wipe of hands before and after snacking to clean-up of dirt and mud stuck on your shoes… Most importantly, it clears grimy sticky fingers.

Item three: Cutting board (surface)

When you have something you would like to share, a piece of fruit, cakes, cheese, slices of meat… You’ll be thankful you got a small flat surface to work with other than fumbling with the container. This also brings us to..

Item four: Cutlery/ Eating utensils.

Knives, forks, spoons or simply skewers. We are civilized people and don’t eat with hands anymore. Welcome to the modern world cavemen.

  

The things mentioned above are what I feel to be the *basic essentials* but nobody’s going to stop you from bringing dainty tea-cups and matching saucers. For the lazy people like me, I am happy with only those items. Now that we are prepared to go out, let’s move on to the FOOD

港女行：跟著大隊看紅葉

這兩個周末我都隨着朋友去看紅葉了。

說真的，都已經是季尾了紅葉也要凋謝了。去看紅葉的意義應該是和朋友相聚相聚，野餐一下，玩玩自拍神棍罷了。

賞紅葉的限期在香港大概都是一月中尾（野餐沒有限期）

 青衣公園

公園很美，是家庭樂的好去處。 但紅葉就只限這條小走廊，目光一轉抽意也到此為止。

對我來說，野餐才是重點。 在草地上小睡片刻，吃個生果，欣賞一下身邊的人。

喜歡拍照的朋友拍過不停。(當然也有要求我們拿道具和做"麼爹"）

看我們如何白痴度過一天：

中大荷花池
其實並不是特地去看的，只是剛巧要去interview所以才走去港女一下。 也是得一條走廊咁大把。

這次我和友人玩的不是野餐，是自拍神棍 （smirk smirk smirk)

這叫越蠢越有味

你說紅葉很好看？其實都是趁趁熱鬧而已。 得閒Kai一Kai心境開朗。


接二連三地港女行：潮流的甜品 Next Station Dessert & 雪國度

Stress Eating, Freaking out and other Healthy Lifestyles

Today I caught myself stress eating.

How did I know? 

one. I am perfectly aware that I am full

I just finished a whole salmon steak. 

All that protein and omega 3 I can literally feel them in my stomach, how can I not be?

two. I can't stop (or perhaps I didn't want to?)

full + food = BLOATED

I told myself to stop and I didn't, or can't. idk

I can see with my eyes how huge my food baby has become, and yes I have to keep feeding it.

three. I have an IMPORTANT interview 2 hours after.

Career, PGDE, feeling of unprepared, freaking out etc.

four. Carbs, carbs, carbs, carbs... crap.

bread, crackers, oatmeal, jam...

Sugar makes us happy, triggers the happy hormone, just like drugs...

Oh, but let's put all these in the past and move forward. No point stressing on the unsightly past.  

I am getting control of MY life and it's looking good:

one. I do exercise everyday, consistently.

Even if it's just 20 mins cardio in front of YouTube on lazy days, I keep myself moving. 

Enrolling in preferred exercise classes helps. I like dancing :) 

Anything that's comfortable AND ENJOYABLE. 

two. I try to control what I eat, keep track and tell myself when it's enough.

Really get connected with the food that gets put into your mouth.

I like to invent new and innovative food parings, just to spice things up a bit.

three. I go for whole foods and minimize eating processed food.

And I do experiments with my body to find out what works with myself. (Yea, I sound like a creepy weird freak, so what)

side note: currently experimenting with nuts and coconut 

Even baby steps are steps, go healthy. 

The thought of becoming old, fat and ugly haunts me.

Being Artsy and Posing is Just a Line Apart?

With the uprising of YouTube and YouTubers uploading daily vlogs, weekly vlogs, monthly vlogs, doing Vlogmas, Vlogary, Vlogtober... (you get the idea) It's very difficult to persuade others that what I'm doing is NOT simply following the trend. Coincidentally, a friend of mine also asked me a question as to how to do the things she like and not appearing to be posing as an artsy youth. I told her, "Just follow your heart and who cares about what everybody thinks?"

You know how people just like to do stuff and enjoy the process? That's what I'm doing here, there's no reason why.
I do simply because I like.

Recently I have been reaching out and trying to live my life to the fullest, doing all sorts of different things which I won't normally do. Today, I have just created a vlog about a hike I had with a friend yesterday.

I can't say that YouTube have no influence to what I'm doing here. I was inspired by the various editing techniques by various YouTubers, this I admit. But I want to bring out the fact that to me, video editing is a form of art, an expression of the mood and feelings through visual and audio. I enjoy learning new techniques from other videos, running the scenes through my head, visualizing and planning the angle, deciding how to bring out the message best, finding music to suit the mood... All these made me feel like I am creating a piece of recording that is interesting to the mind, let the viewer enjoy as well as allow me to record happenings of my life. 

Art is a very personal thing yet you can share it with everybody because you are the only person who can decipher the emotions within as you felt it.   

It doesn't have to be brilliant, no necessary to have any views at all, as long as it is part of your creation, 

Just Enjoy.



Other Adventures: 港女行：潮流的甜品 Next Station Dessert & 雪國度

Quit that "How was your year" sh!t

"Happy New Year (emoji emoji emoji emoji)!"

I know the next question in every conversation. No. Stop. Don't even let that word form in your mouth.

"How was your year?"

What am I suppose to say? "Oh, I had every emotions one generally have over a long period like a year." or, "I did what I did every year, you know had New Years, CNY, Easter, Ching Ming, Mid-autumn Festival, Halloween, Thanks Giving....." Or am I suppose to give you a straight up summary of my personal life events of the past year?

"Let's see... first I handed in my long overdue assignment, then I went to the bar with some friends, oh and my granny's cat died. Then my friend crashed his bicycle, I got a boring intern just so I get enough credits to complete my course... Ahhh, my kitchen bulb is changed, as well as the one in my basement. Also my floor got waxed. Oh! My mum bought a new wok."

TYVM

I am in no mood to g into details nobody cared (although they pretend to) nor do I think that it's appropriate for you to know about them. Unless of course, that you're writing a biography about me to be published in time for my death in the forseeable future Sure fine, go ahead, might as well get all the facts right. Document all you can, better me telling you these stuff rather than others making up trash. (you know, aunties and stuff)

So, my conclusion, especially if the person who is asking you this question is *of a certain significance* in your life (hands down no hinting here), is that they wanted some *specific* answers.

Did I mention that those answers should shed a couple of good blazing bling bling lights on them too?

Most would find "Getting to know you", "Having you around", "Spending time with you" etc. satisfactory after the initial impulsive "Great!" Others may require more art in your speech.

General Equation? List out a bunch of seemingly symbolic events and add that person's deeds in between. Put in some expressions and enthusiasm and say things that would make the other person happy.

If all the above does not satisfy person asking (i.e. _________) then it's time to get someone who would actually understand you need to be left alone and not participate in the new-year-review-resolution-game.

If the question above occurs with your best buds over a couple of drinks?

Spill all your every-flavour beans bro.

Cheers to a fabulous 2015.