Seriously, it's not even like I didn't give any efforts or try hard enough but sometimes things are just out of my control. What kind of emotions should I use to face this series of unfortunate events?
First, I received a devastatingly bad grade for an exam which I knew I had done better than some others. The story is too long and painful for me to recall, just get that a person who didn't study at all passed with flying colours while I got what he should have deserved. I tried to negotiate with my programme leader, the lecturer, the student himself, the course secretary, and nobody could help me. ABSOLUTELY NOBODY, and I couldn't do anything about it because I am not there in person. Fuck them. This actually have a domino effect on my job applications, elective selections, etc, etc... ... FUCK
After that unfortunate event, I decided to put it past me and move on. I planned to run for the Vice P. of AIESEC in my uni and have worked on my application day and night. I interviewed people for transition, requested letter of nomination, endorsement letters, get people to do assessments on my ability all through the barrier of different time zones and not able to getting to the people in person... and completed that 3000 words essay-ish application form. I gave up skating and dinner with friends and devoted myself to my work. I managed to fit everything in, working parallel to a conference, my friend coming over and preparing for my trip to St Petersburg. Ironically, just as I wanted to submit the application package there is no Wi-fi available on the boat. Consequently, I couldn't submit the application before the deadline and all my efforts are, as the reply e-mail put it, "invalid". DOUBLE FUCK
Keeping myself as optimistic as possible, I told myself that without the responsibility of VP in the way, I can have my summer internship here or simply travel for a bit longer before returning home. This I can't blame on luck, I know it's hard to search for a short-term job especially being a non-EU citizen and everything and yea I shouldn't feel upset over it but I. Can't. Get. A. Single. Internship.(and maybe I shouldn't complain about this, planning trips are also quite exhausting...)
It's really mental-torturing, trying to stay composed and cool while actually wanting to wither and die. There is no such thing as a breakdown now, the world moves on even if I don't. All I can do is climb into bed, drink tea and try to feel better.
Enough venting.
First, I received a devastatingly bad grade for an exam which I knew I had done better than some others. The story is too long and painful for me to recall, just get that a person who didn't study at all passed with flying colours while I got what he should have deserved. I tried to negotiate with my programme leader, the lecturer, the student himself, the course secretary, and nobody could help me. ABSOLUTELY NOBODY, and I couldn't do anything about it because I am not there in person. Fuck them. This actually have a domino effect on my job applications, elective selections, etc, etc... ... FUCK
After that unfortunate event, I decided to put it past me and move on. I planned to run for the Vice P. of AIESEC in my uni and have worked on my application day and night. I interviewed people for transition, requested letter of nomination, endorsement letters, get people to do assessments on my ability all through the barrier of different time zones and not able to getting to the people in person... and completed that 3000 words essay-ish application form. I gave up skating and dinner with friends and devoted myself to my work. I managed to fit everything in, working parallel to a conference, my friend coming over and preparing for my trip to St Petersburg. Ironically, just as I wanted to submit the application package there is no Wi-fi available on the boat. Consequently, I couldn't submit the application before the deadline and all my efforts are, as the reply e-mail put it, "invalid". DOUBLE FUCK
Keeping myself as optimistic as possible, I told myself that without the responsibility of VP in the way, I can have my summer internship here or simply travel for a bit longer before returning home. This I can't blame on luck, I know it's hard to search for a short-term job especially being a non-EU citizen and everything and yea I shouldn't feel upset over it but I. Can't. Get. A. Single. Internship.
It's really mental-torturing, trying to stay composed and cool while actually wanting to wither and die. There is no such thing as a breakdown now, the world moves on even if I don't. All I can do is climb into bed, drink tea and try to feel better.
Enough venting.
BRING IT ON WORLD, GIMMIE YOUR WORST
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